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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:50
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
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Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Barab疽i\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
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It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/13/(Fri) 12:23
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